Being told that you have diabetes may be one of the most difficult things you will ever hear. Although everyone’s experience is different, it is common for people to feel fear, disbelief, anger or sadness. These feelings may come and go, and you may find that they come back months and years after you are diagnosed. Although these feelings may always be with you, it is also common to reach some level of acceptance about having diabetes.
Some common feelings fall into different categories. Although these are sometimes thought of as stages, they rarely happen in order. You may have had one or all of these feelings.
DENIAL
“I’m perfectly healthy.” Some people have trouble believing that they have diabetes, especially if they don’t feel sick. But denial can be harmful if it causes people to not take care of their diabetes.
ANGER
“It’s not fair. Why me?” When people feel angry about having diabetes, it is easy to feel that life is unfair. Feeling angry about diabetes can affect the way you get along with others. Family, friends or health care providers may become targets for your anger. They may pull away from you just when you need their support the most.
DEPRESSION
“My life is horrible.” When resentment about having diabetes bottles up inside, feelings of sadness, helplessness and even hopelessness may build up. People with diabetes are twice as likely to have depression as people without diabetes.
ACCEPTANCE
“I can live with it.” Over time, most people adjust or adapt to diabetes. While they still wish they didn't have diabetes, and they may still have negative feelings about it, they learn to handle these feelings. Then these feelings do not get in the way of caring for themselves. These feelings are normal, and the good news is that eventually it gets better. Learning to live with diabetes is a lifelong journey. But there are ways to ease the trip. The first step is to become aware of and acknowledge your own emotions. This helps you to figure out ways to cope with how you feel and get the support you need.
Next, try to involve others. Find someone to talk to who will listen. Family, friends and health care providers can all offer support. Talking with others who have diabetes may also be helpful. Other people with diabetes can tell you how they deal with their feelings and encourage you in dealing with yours. These people can’t make the feelings go away, but they can help you by being understanding and good listeners.
Finally, take care of yourself and your health. If you find that your feelings get in the way of caring for your diabetes, let your health care provider know. He or she can offer additional help and resources.
